an ode to the heavens

to the one who never turned away

i write this from my knees
where earth no longer listens.

the sky at least, has the decency
to not interrupt while i beg.
it stretches as i unravel
and cradles what i cannot carry.

tonight, i envy the stars
how they burn without permission,
how they witness without intervening,
how they shine despite distance,
and are still considered beautiful.

i’ve sent up so many prayers,
they’ve built a nest
in the hollow of Orion’s belt.
and while i believed none returned,
maybe they landed
in places i cannot yet see.

the night doesn’t answer,
but it doesn’t recoil.
it listens,
longer than i’ve known how to speak.

and so not all silence is absence,
perhaps its a patience
for a miracle
only heaven can afford.

i asked for what i thought i needed
but He gave me what would not undo me

some prayers
are graves He refuses to dig.
some doors remain shut,
because His love
will not let me walk into ruin.

i have mistaken waiting
for abandonment.
but even stillness
can be a sanctuary.
a hand,
so unwavering
i forget it’s holding me.

God,
do You flinch
when i sob Your name?
do You gather the tears
that fall in place of language?

i begged for answers
and You gave me awe,
a cathedral of sky,
with no map inside it.

You showed me,
heaven is not far.
it’s not only stars or sky.
it is here,
where i am held
without having to ask.

heaven
is a place on earth,
with You.